One post a year…

Sounds about right. 😀

Recently I’m making an attempt to “do” more while I’m still in the heat of the moment.
It’s 2014. My reel is still at 2011.

Although I do feel like I’ve woken up from a coma (somewhat of a creative coma) it has always been hard for me to show work, let alone update and write about it with my limited vocabulary.
As a 99.9% super shy and contained person (with an 0.1% Fuck low-key, I’m awesome! attitude), I often enter a dilemma on whether or not to show (then take down) or write (then delete) things. Simply put, I’m somewhat proud of my work but at the same time I keep looking at it and feel “yeah, it’s actually not that cool” or “there’s so much more that can be done, I can do better” or “yeah, no one will look at this anyway” or “this sucks compared to [enter awesome reference]” and then I end up super depressed while shelving my little babies.

Time passes and I encounter moments when I’m asked,” Yeah… so what do/can you do?” Then I reluctantly show my unfinished site and feel horrible because everything has only one chance. It’s not possible to undo or un-see something, and say hey you know what, lemme try again, that didn’t count. Thus forcing me to go back to the start of this awful loop.

I’m in such a disadvantage here. Sigh… and they say being humble is a good thing.

To be fair, I do enjoy making all of this but I always eventually regret what I say or write even after rethinking, rereading, or rewriting the same thing a million times. My brilliant workaround is to build up the courage(or pump up my 0.1%) to do(say, write, post) whatever and then act like an ostrich and hide in my comfy hole. I’m a genius!

Hit publish. Out.